Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
The most fascinating thing about Beastmaster 2 is how well the cartoonish sword-and-sorcery characters blend in to contemporary Los Angeles -- it may as well be documentary. Marc Singer plays Dar, a muscle-headed barbarian whose main claim to fame is his ability to communicate with a wide array of animal friends. Dar is informed that his evil brother Arklon (Wings Hauser) has nefarious designs on the universe. Arklon has teamed up with Lyranna (Sarah Douglas), a sexy witch who cracks wise in Valley Girl vernacular, a parlance picked up during her travels through the portal of time to a netherworld called L.A. Arklon has to find a quick way to decimate the universe, so Arklon and Lyranna travel through the portal to steal a neutron detonator from a military base close to Los Angeles. Dar and Southern California teen Jackie Trent (Kari Wuhrer) -- who had gotten stuck in the portal and ended up in Togaland -- pursue Arklon and Lyranna as they make their way through the time hole. Once in La-La land, Dra and his companion find themselves pursued by the LAPD, which considerably slows up their race to catch Arklon. ~ Paul Brenner, All Movie Guide
See CommentsWhat People Are Saying
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On Celebrity Reality TV Trainwrecks...Chopergirl said "I have always loved her. She has been a very good part of entertainment - I remember when she was in Roots. AND then CHEERS, and then the talking babies with John Travolta. My gosh, we all have problems, and with those come stress eating at times...She is beautiful regardless of what she weighs, and not only physically beautiful, but also beautiful inside. She has had her heart broke just like the rest of us, and struggles like the rest of us....to bad people expect her to be perfect as that is what imperfect people like to see - someone perfect to make them feel better. Projecting their OWN disappointment onto others, in some sick way, makes them feel a little better. That is a terrible post about her. I will watch her show."
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On Celebrity Reality TV Trainwrecks...Sardonica said "How is she anymore a train wreck than ANY body else, celebrity or not? We all have our issues. She is at least trying to better herself, not trash those around her, or laugh at the misfortunes of others. You're as bad as Perez. YOU are the one that needs to get a life, not her. "
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On Oprah's Love Couch Confessionals...ratt said "Don't the people who read this crap have anything at all better to worry about? Is it REALLY any of your concern what this movie star or that musician is up to in their personal lives? Did any of you useless tabloid bottom feeding twats notice that I used the word PERSONAL? Not likely, because the people that read this stuff don't think anyone has a life that they can't have access to. A word for those who have nothing better to do than concern themselves about others in the spotlight... pathetic."
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On Streetwalkers Live...pjmaclean said "Rather like Robert Johnson, Muddy and Chess records "US corporate blues and rock pathfinders" did not appreciate and subsequently understand that the creative would be led by the original English speaking nation - sure the video ain't up too much but as I have had the privileged of listening and even singing with US and UK rockers as a pure amateur - this is silk cotton against your nylon trailers. "
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On Bitter Celebrity Custody Battles...jesslisby said "rynn phillips needs to get over his self...he is the one whom made his own problems. mabye if he kept his pants on and didn't treat his wife at the time with such disregaurd, he might still have full custody of his children, and a wonderful wife..look what you traded down for. but bravo to reese...look who she traded up for."
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